fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
