Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize