I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
