everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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