tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
