D3 body, D1 cock
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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