Me. At least after what I've been through.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
