hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
