Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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