If i come over, it means nothing
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
