dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
