I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize