Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
