There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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