His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
