"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
