Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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