ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
