I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France