He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.