dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
