i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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