I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
