I want to have your abortion
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
