Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
this is an emotional support booty call
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
