Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
