ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
