K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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