I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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