so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
