It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
birth control should be required to get into college
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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