shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
