Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
