Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
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I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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