Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
