I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
