so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
