i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
