We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
