its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
