Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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