instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
