I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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