so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
