Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
