Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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