K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
