My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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