sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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