i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
