Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
