who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
