she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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