You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
