ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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