I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
