just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
