I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm both gender and math confused
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
