boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
