Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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